“What He Lost at School, and What We’re Rebuilding”-いじめを乗り越えてきた過去Vol.2 - Mami’s Life-Stories Between Heaven and Reality

”大丈夫“の裏で起きていたこと-学校での現実Vol.2

→ This is a continuation of my previous story,

“What He Lost at School, and What We’re Rebuilding” Vol.1

— What was happening behind “I’m okay” — School Reality Vol.2

Even now, as I write this, my hands are shaking. Tears come out on their own.

Opening up memories that I tried so hard to hide is much harder than I imagined.

⸻

We moved to a city called McAllen, in South Texas, near the border with Mexico.

Before moving, we carefully checked school information and chose what seemed to be a good school with positive reviews.

But that’s where the tragedy happened.

At first, my oldest son was anxious about leaving his old friends.

However, he made new friends quickly, and everything seemed to be going well.

Then one day, things suddenly changed.

He started waking up in the middle of the night, crying and screaming.

He would shake, panic, and it took a long time to calm him down.

After finally falling asleep, he would wake up again a few hours later.

This happened about three times every night, and it continued for many days.

I knew something was wrong.

At first, when I asked him, he said nothing.

Maybe he didn’t want to talk, or maybe he was afraid of getting in trouble.

The night terrors continued every night, and they only got worse.

Both my former husband and I were exhausted from the lack of sleep.

Eventually, my son started refusing to go to school.

Every morning felt like a battle.

We had to take him to school by 7:45 a.m., but as we got closer, he would scream,

“I don’t want to go!!!”

I had no choice but to carry him into the school.

Since he wouldn’t talk, I had no idea what was happening.

Even when I asked his teacher, she said,

“There are no problems at school.”

(By the way, my second son was also attending pre-kindergarten at the same school, and he had no issues at all. He stayed until around 3:30 p.m. and would sometimes cry in the car simply because he was tired.)

Still, I felt strongly that something was wrong.

So I decided to sit down and talk with my oldest son properly.

That’s when I heard something I couldn’t believe.

He finally spoke, crying.

Son: When we move to another classroom, I’m the only one who has to stay behind.

Me: What? What do you mean?

Son: When everyone goes to another classroom, they tell me I can’t go. So I wait there alone.

Me: Is that really true? You’re not lying, right? I need to talk to your teacher about this, so please tell me honestly if this is true.

Son: I’m not lying.

Me: Okay. Then I will talk to your teacher.

Son: But if you tell them, it might get worse…

Me: It’s okay. We need to find out what’s really happening. We will protect you.

⸻

After hearing this, my former husband and I decided to speak directly with the principal.

I will write about what happened next in the following post.

→前回のお話し、“What He Lost at School, and what We’re Rebuilding “ Vol.1-”大丈夫“の裏で起きていたこと-学校での現実Vol.1の続きです。

-今もこうして文章を打っている手が震えます。涙が勝手に流れてきます。思い出したくないからと蓋をしていた事実を、ゆっくりとふたを開けて放つ作業は想像以上にキツいです。

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こうしてテキサスの南、メキシコとのボーダー近くのマッカーレンという街に引っ越した私達ですが、事前に念入りに学校の情報をチェックして通わせる学校を選び、レビューも良いはずだった学校で悲劇が起きたのです。

初めは今までの友達とも離れて不安だった長男ですが、意外とすぐに友達もできて順調に事が進んでいたと思っていたのですが、ある時から急に夜中に泣き叫んで起きて喚いて、興奮して震えて、しばらく背中をさすりながらなだめて落ち着かせてまた寝て、その数時間後にまた起きて…という同じことの繰り返しっていうのが一晩に3回くらいあって、それがあまりにも何日も続くから、これは流石に何かおかしいぞと思ったのです。

長男は最初聞いても何も言いませんでした。言いたくなかったのか、それとも言ったら自分が怒られるとでも思っていたのか？

その間もずっと夜驚症は毎晩続いていました。むしろ症状は酷くなるばかりでした。私も元夫も毎晩続く寝不足で限界に達していました。

そうしてそのうちに長男は学校も拒否する様になったのです。

毎朝が戦争のようでした。

学校に毎朝7:45までには連れて行くのですが、学校近づくと「やだー！！！行かないーーー！！！」

仕方ないので抱っこで連れて行きました。

とにかく本人が話さないもんだから何が起こっているのか分かりません。担任の先生に聞いても「特に学校では変わった様子はありません」と。

※因みに、そこでは次男もプリキンダー（日本だと幼稚園年中さんに値します）のクラスに通っていたのですが、彼は全く問題なく通えていました。3:30くらいまで学校があったので疲れて帰りの車で泣くくらいでした。

-やはり、これは絶対に何かあると思い、長男本人ときちんと向き合って話し合う事にしました。

そこで耳を疑うことになるのです。長男は泣きながらやっと話してくれたのです。

息子: 移動教室の時にいつも僕だけ1人クラスの中に残されるの。

私: は？どういうこと？