Life with My Son Who Remembers Heaven
Finally Finding True Happiness
After we started living together, I became pregnant.
If you have read my previous posts, you may already know that I experienced an ectopic pregnancy and lost the baby.
Maybe the pain of losing a baby is something only those who have experienced it can truly understand.
Even though the baby was still so tiny—just about the size of a “•”—there was already a little life growing inside me.
Losing that little life was incredibly painful.
Not long after that, I became pregnant again with my third son.
There is no doubt that his presence saved me from the deep sadness and despair I was feeling at that time.
Then, for the first time in my life, my husband proposed to me.
He planned it as a surprise.
My first husband had never proposed to me.
All he had said was,
“I need a visa to stay in Japan, so we have to get married.”
So, being proposed to by my husband meant so much to me.
He even suggested that we get married on my birthday.
Everything seemed to be going smoothly.
And then, our third son was born.
My two older sons were so excited to finally have a baby brother.
They happily helped me by giving him his bottles and rocking his bouncer.
They loved him so much then, and they still do today.
Our youngest son has grown up surrounded by so much love.
And his story eventually became the story that many people are now reading in my “Memories of Heaven” series.
He does not remember being inside my womb, but he says that he remembers things from before he was born.
He also seems to be able to see things that we cannot see.
I always listen to his strange and wonderful stories with excitement and curiosity.
I started this blog because I hope that, someday, in some small way, his stories might help someone who is going through something difficult.
Everyone has their own beliefs.
You may believe his stories, or you may not.
But I want to believe what he tells me.
And I want to continue keeping a record of his stories for as long as I can.
【お空の記憶を語る息子と、私たち家族】
-やっと手にした真の幸せ-
そうして一緒に住み始めて…やがて妊娠に至るのですが、以前の記事を読んでくださっている方ならご存知だと思うのですが、子宮外妊娠で流産を経験しました。
その時の辛さは、経験した人にしか分からないものなのかもしれません。
こんなに「•」のような大きさの赤ちゃんだったとしても、そこには確かに命が芽生えていたのです。その時の喪失感は計り知れないものでした。
それから程なくして、三男がお腹に宿ってくれました。
彼の存在が悲しみの絶望にいた私を救ってくれたのは言うまでもありません。
そして、人生で初めてのプロポーズも、夫はサプライズという形でしてくれました。
前の夫からプロポーズをされたことはありませんでした。
「日本にいるためのVisaが必要だから、結婚しないといけない」
そう言われただけだった私にとって、夫からのプロポーズは本当に嬉しいものでした。入籍する日も私の誕生日にしようと夫が言ってくれて、何もかもが順調に進んでいきました。
そうして生まれてきてくれた三男。
長男も次男も待ち望んでいた赤ちゃんの存在にものすごく喜んでくれて、率先してミルクをあげたり、バウンサーを揺らしたり、その頃はもちろん、今も本当に可愛がってくれています。
皆に沢山の愛情をもらってスクスクと育っている三男のお話が、今沢山の方達に読んでいただいている、
“Memories of heaven-空の記憶”シリーズになるのです。
彼には胎内記憶はないものの、お空の時の記憶があり度々お話をしてくれます。
そして私達には見えない存在がどうやら見えるようです。
そんな不思議な能力を持った三男のお話を私もいつもワクワクしながら聞いています。
そして、それらの話がいつかどんな形でも良いから、誰かの助けになれたら良いなと思い、始めたのがこのブログです。
信じるか信じないかはきっとそれぞれにあると思います。それでも、私は彼の話を信じたいし、これからも彼の話の記録を残していきたいと思います。
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